Urban Planning Taboos

 There are taboos in my profession, topics for which you don’t share any cynical apprehensions. One topic concerns the concept of “the homeless.” We progress under the shibboleth that all those unfortunates who live under overpasses, dig through restaurant dumpsters, and wander the street in miserable, disheveled condition are there for several justifiable reasons, all of which are directly our fault, certainly not theirs.

 Most are there, we understand, because they lost a good paying job and, next, their home.

 Others are there because they mistakenly joined the military and came out too traumatized to fit into society in any meaningful way. Of course, the Vietnam vets are the worst, notwithstanding the fact that they are getting a little “long in the tooth” to wander the streets, sleep on the frozen ground, and frighten the righteous as we, uh they, have done for half a century. Military veterans, often grouped under the subset, “homeless veterans,” seem to add a bit of patriotic cache to appeals for money. Everyone loves a vet, or so they say.

 It is this latter group which prompted me to examine the matter of homelessness in more detail, risking much alienation and approbation from liberal friends and professional colleagues.

 It started when a friend from northwest Arkansas came to Little Rock for a meeting and invited me to lunch. I met him at a downtown diner and found that he had brought another person. He introduced her as a homeless advocate, and we sat to dine. The talk soon turned to her advocacy. She proudly related how her efforts were aiding the poor and unfortunate up in what some call “Walmartia.”

 Interjection of a Generalizaion_1: The only poor and unfortunate people in northwest Arkansas are there by choice and not by fortune.

 Interjection of a Generalization_2: All generalizations are specious, even the previous one.

 Anyway.

 She proceeded to set off a hidden bomb that I had been harboring for nearly 50 years. She just had to go and mention all the self-satisfying work she was doing for the homeless veterans in northwest Arkansas.

 Homeless veterans in northwest Arkansas? Now don’t get me started. Oh, you already have, you say. Oh well.

 To make a long story bearable, I calmly asked a question that had been smoldering within me like a lit fuse headed for a store of dynamite. “How do you go about determining veteran status?” I asked. “Do you require a DD214?"

 I’ll swear on my Sainted Mother’s grave that she forked a bit of salad in her mouth, chewed, and calmly said, “What’s a DD214?”

 I took a deep breath and thought of rose gardens and Martha Lou Shomier from high school. I exhaled, managing to keep my cool. “Only the proof that those people you are calling ‘homeless veterans’ have actually ever served in the military.”

 “Oh,” she said, obviously relived that it wasn’t a requirement that had to do with grant proposals. “I do suppose we have some that may ‘assume the persona,’ I really don’t know.”

 “Assume the persona?” Was I hearing correctly? She did say, “Assume the persona” and not the more military-related, “Assume the position,” didn’t she?

 I turned to my friend. “Have you ever actually known a homeless veteran?” He pretended that he had been so busy enjoying his meal that he had missed the conversation. Of course he hadn’t known any homeless veterans. He had, in all likelihood, only known a handful of veterans in his life.

 Just then, fate interviewed. I caught a glimpse of a friend from high school enjoying a meal with colleagues, all in their finest “litigatin’ suits.” Judging from their raucous comradery, they were probably on opposite sides of the same lawsuit.

 “See that man?” I said. “He spent a year as an enlisted man in an artillery unit in Vietnam. He’s now a partner in one of the most prestigious law firms in Arkansas. And, oh by the way, he’s not homeless, not weighted down with any false persona, and is more representative of the military veterans that I know, than any of your so-called ‘poor homeless vets.’ So you can take your ‘persona’ and shove it.”

 I didn’t finish my meal, but I did, I’m afraid, end a friendship.

 Next: Searching for a definition.